Well, it has been a long journey- piecing my mother’s life together…
Not easy- to say the least.
She died December 7th in 2013- Pearl Harbor Day. It took me until May to get to Indiana to take care of everything and her affairs. That’s a long time to wait- to put things to rest and get a perspective on what actually has happened and what has been lost. That is 5 months of feeling totally incomplete- and diminishes your self esteem in terms of priority, timeliness, respect, and responsibility. All of which are fundamental elements of my profession as a board certified cardiovascular perfusionist.
The world lost a lot today- that day- on December 7th when my mother, Ingeborg Maria Hinderschiedt died.
For all of you that became a part of her life- I want to say thank you for loving, listening, and no-doubt contradicting her very spirited, and passionately stated opinion on all things life. She was magnificent at that. Articulating both sides of an argument, relenting for a bit, and then unleashing a terrible vendetta of both esoteric facts, and the flaws in the staid argument you presented to bring her to a pause.
I suggest these pictures to you- not as a grim reminder of her as the reaper of so much confusion and rhetorical pain, rather as the a map of the path we all took of getting to know and perhaps attracting the attention we needed from her.
Clearly, we ALL loved her at some point of our lives with her.
She was indeed different. She coveted people, knowledge, and heritage. Salient in all her efforts to make us try to improve ourselves, while leaving herself vulnerable to all of what she preached against. She was your strongest ally and critic in the same sentence.
She recognized in herself a potential- that was there for the taking- and imparted it or the power to achieve “it” to anybody but herself.
Tragedy is a door. It is an examination of the mistakes we make- and fail to recognize. It is self recrimination, self doubt, and self guilt.
You can open that door, and walk through the corridor beyond it- you can reconsider poor choices that can never be taken back, and you can change yourself to not repeat the mistakes that led you to that fork in the road.
I’m not sure what road my mother took in the last sad years of her life. I know she was in pain, and she didn’t deserve to die alone. She opened that door- walked through it- and invited no one into her life that could possibly infringe on her self imposed alienation from those closest to her.
She made her choices. No one could choose to be her friend. She chose all of us, collected us, and then when we got too close- perhaps recognizing and exposing a potential vulnerability, we were discarded.
To suggest she had no impact on all of our lives would be a callous misperception.
She was indeed the funniest person I have known. We had lunch at some beat down Chinese restaurant off a side street in Lafayette, (where of course she was well known), and I laughed so hard for the last time in her presence- my daughter Maria was in tow (2 years old), and oh my god- my mother was hysterically ruthless in her anecdotal comments on life- situations, and the foibles of all of us.
I was at an age, where I was pretty conceited and self absorbed, and that brief glimmer of a moment- reminded me of the true blessing she bestowed on all of us.
She taught us to be- and consider ourselves to become exceptional. To challenge ourselves.
That is what great teachers do.
That was my mom, Ingeborg Maria Hinderschiedt.
God bless you Mutti-
I have read all of your letters, looked at all of your pictures, and now I have to say goodbye. There is nothing left to retrieve and relive. And that sucks.
So as Ezra Pound- I won’t let you go- unforgotten…
My Love always- your son-
Frank-Diether
(I used a dash – and I know how much you hated it- when I did that. I will miss you eternally- it is such a sad day to finally say goodbye).
June18. 2014
Happy Birthday Mutti 🙂
The pictures below- are of some of her most loved.
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Best Friend EVER ! L. Stanford
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=Nonna crossing the Ocean to the USA 🙂
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She was truly the best friend I had as a kid- and never knew it.
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I bought a Lake House in Michigan- My Jeep
Deck of Lake House- I think it shocked my mother that I could succeed to such a level to where I could in the space or 3 months buy a lake house, a BMW, and a jet boat. It didn’t surprise me one bit.
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Dad & my little bro Hugh 🙂 God he looks SO PROUD 🙂
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Me in the RP- South China Sea- Water Skiing
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I know it looks bad 🙂 LOL- Prom pic 1975
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I’m thinking this was 4th grade
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Purdue Professor- United States Army Tank Commander !!! Dutch Jannach- I loved this guy- he was straight up and no BS. Called it like he saw it!
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I just love how happy she looked here:)
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I HAD to go to this in Colorado Springs- Pretended to like it- -It was HORRIBLE 🙂 Same summer that we landed on the moon-
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Art Chandler- Professor in Spanish at Purdue.
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This would be me at 23 or so in Tampa
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My Grandfather’s Iron Cross 1st Class-
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My Daughter Maria- The young and beautiful progeny of my mom.
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My mother’s son- Me 🙂 USN HM2 Honorably Discharged: Carrying on the Family Military Tradition.
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Probably the best dad in the world- Max Aprile – I Love you dad.
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Kash in Texas- times were a little bit tough-
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My brother- Hugh. I respect him on so many levels- he can’t even imagine. He fills the gaps- together we are an unbeatable force. Experience- skill- diplomacy- and decisiveness.
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This would be my daughter- Maria 🙂
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All of the rest- Have my Mom’s imprint forever…. God bless you Mutti
I don’t know who this beautiful and mysterious woman is- but she was in many of the photos I looked through.
Excellent! You, of course (since you are her son!), captured her essence amazingly. There was none other like her. I have to admit that I was sad to see this “good-bye” post! I’ve anticipated each of your new posts – what pictures would I see and what words would you post?! Ending it is sad… but a necessary closure. Farewell, Ingeborg (or, as my daughter once called her, “Ingebug”)! We have been blessed to be your neighbors and your friends. Thank you, Frank, for sharing your words and your pictures with us.
Thank you back Kimberly. I appreciate all of your support and look forward to seeing you guys again next time in WL! Plz stay in touch and write 🙂 FA
A remark on your name Diether and the way your mother wrote it. It’s meaning is ‘master of people’ (‘her’ = Herr = master or chief) diet = folks or people under the command of it’s master. The later and recent writing abandoned the ‘H’ of ‘her’ after ‘diet’ such that ‘dieter’ results. But Ingeborg, the expert in old German languages, restored it for you.
Lovely . Thanks for posting Frank – a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person. Stay Blessed