Mutti & Me

The Name is  “Mutti”

Mutti was a speck of a hope of dust when she first came to life.  In German, her name is a term of endearment from child to mother.

I used it to call to my mother back then, but that was about a very long time ago when I was not yet dusty from the things that happen to young wranglers that wouldn’t know the first thing about manning up to anything but a full length mirror when curling iron in a sweaty Marine Corps gym, on assignment in the Philippines.

At  that time- to me, she was a collectors item.

A day dream.

A beautiful, white heroic dog, meets jeep and soldier of fortune type Navy corpsman, that tried to actually think that he was ready for SAR (Sea Air Rescue).  The billets were full- so no one really knows what my future was behind that door.

Why did I want SAR?  For the flight suit.  Why did I want Mutti?  For the Hollywood dream of “Old Yeller” coming back to life in my world.

Why was I like that?

I had nothing really to hold on to- except dreams of a life better than I came from.

And where I came from wasn’t bad- two proffs for parents, seeped in the stew of a single message- that academics was the only way to freedom- even though they slaved away in their own peculiar cubby holes they called offices at Purdue University.

But they were like Ken and Barbie dolls in a world where serious bad shit was going down all around the periphery of the green checker  board lawn that like the proverbial white-picket-fence,  buffered the choke hold that is reality- from the velvety clouds that hovered over West Lafayette.

So I bypassed the recipe for implied success, and hitch hiked across the country, and took with me a  stupid little Lassie dream, that was intermixed with the adolescent mojo  of a passion to  going solo on a Sahara Jeep, grand companion at my side, and biceps big enough to cover up for the fact that yeah I was a little scared- but never going to show it.

Still no Mutti.

Mutti was my dream.  I got my Jeep after 10 years on scooters (Rice Burners- not Harley’s), but the arms did get a lot bigger, and the abs- well- they were tight.

So Fast Forward to quite a bit later.  Puberty passed by, serious basketball and 2-man sand volleyball jaunts, a ton of girls were talked to and some I was enchanted by, a nip of several different community colleges as I nickle-and-dimed my way towards some sort of academic respectability, and still no Mutti.

I stayed buzzed a lot.  Harnessed my energy to buff out, school out, party out, and always seemed to have some God-given talent to verbally address the frailties of the soulless turns that life tosses at us, (jokes most often closer to home than I would have liked to consider), and somehow got through school.

My sense of humor was getting sharper, becoming something special.  But there was no Mutti then.  Just roommates, mating away.

That boat kept getting missed.  But I knew I wanted a Kuvasz, and not in a trophy-kind-of-way.  There was something in me, that said it was the right dog for me.

So what was going on in Mutti’s Life?

Well she started out with a pink stripe.  Surrounded by a whole group of siblings that had the same color or maybe blue.

These weren’t designed as Body Art- they were the true Scarlet Letter.  She was pink because she was a she.

She was in the middle of the pack.  No name, really nothing to single her out or distinguish her.  There were rumors floating around that she might get picked by somebody somewhere- but where? and to whom?

What on Earth would make her so special so as to be picked like Cinderella?

It was just odd, that she was going to be the Swan of the bunch…

So Along Came Kashmir & Me…

The bond that brought the two of us together had to be a strong one- because it was definitely against all odds.  We had a pretty big age gap, and it showed.

So depending on which side of the fence you pissed on, I was either a cradle robber, she was a gold digger, or together, we were some sort of purveyors of all that is unholy.

Well we loved each other, and we were getting married.  We were broke, but had a nice house in the woods of Northern West Michigan.  Close to lakes and rivers, and surrounded by deer, and other woodly creatures that come up to the deck at night.

Mutti was to be our Wedding Present to Each Other

So we decided to get married on Halloween, a day we could never forget for future anniversaries, and a gathering that was perfect for us.

Our Vows

And of course our dogs milled about and there was mutti !

Two people, 3 dogs, 10 fish, and a few mice… (A lot of dreams)

Since we didn’t have a a flock to call friends it was pretty much us, on our own building our dreams and our secret garden, an arbor, and a picnic area for us to hang out in.  Two people with a lot of dreams…

Us v. The World…

We built our own Wedding Chapel…

The Secret Garden …

The seeds of a dream …

Kash picked the spot…  She has eyes for that sort of thing …

I cut the Tree down that made the corner posts…

The “Rasta” Scare Crow ….

We took something that was Nothing…

And turned it into Something

Local Irrigation Baybeeee !

An Arbor

A Picnic Area

Some Landscaping

And Our Dogs… (Kuvasz, Husky-Chow- and Dalmatian)

Waiting …

And Having Fun…

The FAILED Hair cut ! (Don’t have a few brews and clip the dog’s hair)

Cheetah Like Grace

I Built Noah’s Ark for the Winter

The last hurrah’s before Texas…

And Then We  Moved to Texas

And everything that happens in Texas is Big

And as Kash said, we came with three people, three fish, three mice, and three dogs

Well we lost Esmir…

Please say no …

Bargaining …

The Emerald Fairy Tale that wasn’t …

But we kept on going..

Mutti was always by our side …

We OWNED the streets…

And we did the things you do in Texas…

Need I elaborate ?

And We Lost Katie…

She was Kashmir’s Twin …

And Then Laz …

She had a stroke, and then another …

So We Rescued Lizzy

And We Got Us An Elroy…

Who got bigger

And was a pretty good friend to Lizzy…

But this story is about Mutti…

  • Mutti was there for us when we got married and the very next day our bank account balance was leaning towards Top Ramen Noodles for dinner.
  • Mutti was with us when some pretty mean people showed up at the house- and let’s just say, they didn’t want to test drive our dog…
  • Mutti was there when Kashmir was all alone for 7 months as I made our new home in Texas.
  • Mutti was there with her tongue hanging out- making people stare whenever we drove her around.
  • She barked a lot- that’s in her nature.
  • But she curls by my side as I write this, a day before she leaves us to go back to her birth state, Michigan.

We are trying to Foster to Adopt…

And the amount of traffic in the house would unsettle Mutti, and she would bark and scare the children, and we are worried she might be too protective of us.

It wouldn’t be fair to lock her in the office, or keep her away from the entire family- so we had to make a very hard choice.

At 6 years old, Mutti is in the best years of her life and has a lot of mileage left in her.  Miles that should be happy, and free, not tethered and shielded from people because of her protective instincts and barking.

So I took some pictures last night…

My last pictures of Mutti

One of my Favorite Pictures…

Mutti Looking at the World from her Home

Anyway My dearest Mutti-

Tomorrow Kash will drive you  for three days back up North.

Please always know we love you, and that the new home we have chosen for you, will lead you to a truly loving friend that will protect you for the rest of your beautiful dog days.

I will miss you terribly, and my heart weighs heavy.  But it is the only thing we can do to save you and to save us.

God Bless You… My Dearest,

God Bless you

So all of the 1st generation mice are gone, all the first dogs are gone, there are no more fish, but we remain.

The promise that is Esmir remains.  The concept of family is with us still.

And Mutti helped us get there.

So now it’s time to raise some children …

UpDate 1

Mutti in The Car- heading to the Great White North: Day 1

UpDate 2

Mutti- Chillin’ in the Miami OK hotel:  Day 1

10 thoughts on “Mutti & Me

  1. So where and to whom is she going? Reading your pain just breaks my heart. You obviously love both Mutti and Kashmir so deeply. It’s an unfair request to have to abandon her. Can’t Mutti be trained to be good with little ones? Protective dogs CAN be trained to be civil. Oh! This is just too, too hard. Your dogs do become your children. my heart is bleeding with yours, friend!

  2. I was there when Mutti was born and will be there when she goes to her new home. That time in between was something very special and I thank you and Kashmir for being her family for those years and loving her as you do. You were one stop on her journey as she was one on yours. Sue Riippa/Mauna Kea Kuvasz

  3. Teut, I had tears in my eyes reading your story. But I’m not clear why you can’t keep her? Grandchildren?
    I’m just asking b/c I recently had to move from my old house with a huge yard to a 1 bedroom. I fought hard to keep my Big girl. She is going to be 10. She does not have the freedom to go in and out through her doggy door, I don’t have a yard now, but I take her out walking 3-4 times a day. She has adjusted very well.
    I almost couldn’t answer you b/c it was so emotional for me I would of lived in my car until I found a place that would let me have her. The gods smiled on me, and she is with me still.
    I know you love Mutti very much.

    • No not grand children, we are trying to foster to adopt- hopefully a sibling group of three. I am older than Kashmir, have my own 14 year old daughter, but Kashmir deserves to be a mom.

      Mutti wouldn’t do well with the new kids , the unexpected traffic, and all sorts of adaption or foster agencies dropping by.

      Thank you so much for your kind words.


      • Oh I see Teut. Big dogs are not good with small children unless they have been raised with them even then…can be probs.
        So wonderful to have the children, I’m sure you will be able to foster them, and your lovely Kashmir will be a Mom♥
        I’m sure Mutti will find a nice home, maybe you will be able to visit her sometime?

  4. What a lovely story and a gorgeous dog and a loving family. Your love for Mutti is clear throughout this story and the pain of releasing her to fit better in another home is heartbreaking.

    You have a wonderful way with words. Thanks!

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